A couple of times in recent weeks, I’ve been involved in conversations where the discussion has shifted to gathering feedback and how it was done, the degree to which it was effective, and how to be clear what was heard. The ‘what was heard’ part can sometimes be challenging because often what is heard is influenced by what one wants to hear. Not always, of course, as that would be an oversimplification. It would also be a disservice to the professionals in the field who thoughtfully plan and test their models. Often, I think challenges emerge after the fact when all the right questions were not asked, or the questions did not provide the full range of options for consideration. Sometimes enough time and space are not allocated for open-ended, free flowing thinking which can generate more possibilities.
The shoe fits on both feet in this example. We can be just as quick to complain when a partner moves ahead on something that we feel we should have been a part of. Our response is often to feel that they are not being transparent, not being inclusive, and not being good partners. When feedback validates what we already believe and aligns with the direction we are poised to move, it can be very easy to simply decide to move forward.
When we are moving quickly and want to make decisions to get something to the launch stage, it is easy to overlook critical questions. Sometimes our own consultation becomes hurried and defaults to an email sent asking ‘do you have any concerns’ when the situation is bigger than that and really should have a more in-depth, meaningful conversation to support it.
And then I stop and wonder. Perfection is not the goal. Feedback and engagement are not one-time activities around specific topics. To be truly collaborative, investing thoughtful time in the relationship and building a plan together results in stronger outcomes. Moving relationships forward and building partnerships is an ongoing process even when a project is not on the horizon. There is a balance to gathering feedback and the relationship with stakeholders should stay at the centre with the variables moving around.
Keep shining!